A Collection of Seriousness by Laura K. Rohm

Because He’s My Best Friend

How am I lucky?
There are all too many ways.
But there is one in particular,
I can talk about him for days.

He’s that shooting star,
The one that only I can see,
When I caught just a glimpse,
I had to make it freeze.

I seem to be doing well so far,
Because you’ve yet to get up and go,
You shine brighter everyday,
Lighting up my life, just to let you know.

You’ve got me wrapped around your fingertips,
This is mean to be,
I’ve never had a friend like you,
You’re just amazing to me.

I found what I’ve been looking for,
A person like you is one of a kind,
I’m just trying to let you know,
You’re the best friend that I never knew I’d find.


The Reason I’m Single

Nothing is the same,
Because you’re no longer in my life,
I am who’s to blame,
And I knew it wasn’t right.

I think about you everyday,
Right before I fall asleep,
I miss the words you used to say,
Now all I do is weep.

I miss the way you looked at me,
When I said “I love you,”
With eyes as bright as can be,
I’m sorry for what I did to you.

Everything was fine and great,
Then came a terrible situation,
I can remember the exact date,
That we had this conversation.

You let me out of you hands,
I trembled and I fell,
Here I try to stand,
It’s obvious that I’m not doing well.

Whatever shall I do with myself,
Now that all I do is mope?
What I’ve got left is on the top shelf,
So it has a place to cope.

You are my past,
I can’t have you in my present,
If only I could have made it last,
I promise it could have been pleasant.

Everyday I realize I can’t take it back,
And now things are much better,
Everything is back on track,
Until another day of bad weather.

I used to feel lost at night,
Without you I couldn’t see,
Now I’ll try with all of my might,
Just to tell you I’m sorry.

Mr. Glasgow

He walks alone, night after night,
Looking for those who can’t put up a fight.

He waits for the families to fall asleep,
Then he watches the parents wake up and weep.

He carries a blade with a razor sharp tip,
And makes and incision on both sides of the lip,

He walks always to a child’s scream,
Now he turns and watches them rip their cheeks clean.

He never feels an ounce of pain,
For he is a hunter, and this is his game,

He knows each and every household by heart,
So when one is done, another will start.

He is called Mr. Glasgow,
Don’t try to hide, because he knows where to go.

Faux Emotion

It’s really hard to write a poem,
Especially when everything has been written about.
I could write another one about love,
But why should I even bother, when it’s just the same old thing?
I’ll sit on my Macbook Pro for hours on end,
Just thinking about what I should write.
Then I’ll have a great idea,
But it sounds like something I heard in a song once.
There’s absolutely nothing thrilling in my life,
Besides the fact that I’m living.
If I wanted, I could write about the sandwich I had for dinner,
But it seems like that would be pretty silly.
I’m going to continue to think of things to write about,
Because if I don’t, I’ll probably fail.
I guess it’s time to go grab a beer,
And let a wave of faux emotions help me set sail.

Ode to LaShimita

I will never forget the Thirst-day night that I met LaShimita.
She had such an exotic name, but she was far from that.
I had just gotten off Earhardt Expressway,
And she stood there on the corner.

I will never forget that Thirst-day night,
That I had a car filled with thirsty teenagers,
It was approximately quarter passed eleven,
When we first laid eyes on LaShimita.

I will never forget how frightened we were,
When LaShimita ran at my car.
We were stopped at a stoplight.
What was I supposed to do?

I will never forget how frightened we were,
When I rolled down the window to see what was wrong.
“Oh, your pregnant and your car broke down you say?”
I have no idea why I actually cared.
I will never forget the way she looked,
The sweat dripping down her face,
Along with her crispy color,
And her tits flailing around as she walked.

I will never forget how stupid I was,
For letting her get into my car,
For all I knew she could have had a gun,
Or maybe even a rusty prison shank.

I wish I had a video camera for the conversation,
The conversation that she was having with herself,
“Fuck you boy cause you broke into my house and raped me!”
“No that’s not the truth, I ain’t even touch a hoe.”

I will never forget debating whether I was more scared or humored,
She was seriously talking to someone who wasn’t there.
Then all of a sudden the craziest thing happened.
She stopped mid sentence.

I will never forget holding my breath to see what she was going to do next,
She turned to me and told me to look at her in a demanding tone,
“Oh hey girl, my name is LaShimita, and my house is right down this street by the way.”
I had absolutely no comment.

I will never forget driving this crazy woman around Hollygrove,
As she continued to talk to herself,
She said she went to the police because she was kicked out,
And I can honestly understand why they didn’t help her.

I will never forget when we pulled up to her destination,
It was right by the railroad tracks that I never knew existed,
This was when I waited for her to kill us all,
But instead, she asked us to pay her.

I will never forget that night,
Because it was the night I learned to never pick up people,
Since they take my money, instead of paying for gas,
And since they could potentially kill me.

Three weeks went by,
Then I saw LaShimita again,
She stood on that same corner, and the light was red,
Ironically, “Breaking the Law” by Judas Priest was on shuffle,
So you better believe I ran that light.